No matter how I slice it, whenever I stray from minimalism, my life
descends into chaos and anxiety. So, I am reviving my commitment to
living a more balanced, minimalist life. This time, I will not let the
negative extreme minimalists twart my path as I am doing this solely for
myself and my family, and not for the approval of anyone. I do hope
that others who are genuinely seeking a more balanced life are
encouraged by my journey as I will be writing about it on this blog.
A little background on myself:
There
was a time when I was a minimalist. It was for most of my life, in
fact. I even owned 100 items and had a successful blog
(urbanminimalist.blogspot.com - I am reviving the posts of that blog
here to remind myself as well as to help others. Please pardon if there
are any redundancy in topics as this is a second & hopefully,
lasting second part of my journey and re-commitment).
I strayed
from the minimalist lifestyle because of two things: 1) the negative
comments of ultra fanatic minimalist turned me off. This was a stupid
reason as I now realize that these are just bitter, unhappy people. The
second reason was when I got my first full time job and apartment. The
apartment was really the catalyst. I was at a place in my life where I
had graduated college and the career in law that I had anticipated
pursuing lost it's luster to me. That, and the negative comments of
fr-enemies around me made me loose my sense of self and joy of life.
So,
I began to self medicate myself by shopping, something ironic coming
from one who spent most of her life bargain shopping and shopping at
thrift stores to help the environment. It seems so blatantly foolish
now, but I was in such a negative/anxious, and even depressed state,
that I just wanted to cocoon myself with nice things.Not
surprisingly, they failed to subdue my anxiety. I ended up feeling worse
after I could no longer return the items, and when I looked at the
clutter in my home.
I wanted to get rid of the clutter, but did
not have the energy to do so. That is until recently when my husband had
a temporary work assignment for 6 months, and we had to stay in a
hotel. I went back home every couple of weeks to check on things and
also to see friends and family. When I returned home, I realized that it
was not that I didn't have energy as my spirits were high at the hotel.
What was the problem is that the clutter was draining and a constant
reminder of my past mistakes and future worries. So, I have decided to
just get rid of at least half of it. I have spent the weeks when I
returned home thinking about how I can alter clothing and use other
items, but when I am in the hotel, I just let them go. It seems that I
am attached to the objects and see possibilities and the need for them
when I am in their presence. This makes it very difficult for me to let
go.
So, I have made a goal of getting rid of anything that I
cannot use in the next year or fix in the next month. I know that many
people go by the rule of what they have not used in the past year.
However, since I have changed careers from working as a paralegal in a
corporate setting to going back to college to get a degree to teach, my
de-cluttering rules are a bit different.
Nonetheless,
the rules may be different, but the goal the same. The first thing of
any goal is to make a concrete commitment. I am committed to obtain the
freedom from things as I had once before no mater how difficult or
anxiety producing it is. This blog will serve as a diary of my daily/weekly
commitment and actions toward this goal.
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